RESOURCES
So, what helped me get out? Gosh, so many things and a combination of all really. While I was in Prostitution, I tried to fix myself with talk therapy, it was a good start but my denial was so strong. I spent hours in the ceramics room trying to mold clay with my hands into a healthful living, hours on my yoga mat my body spitting out sweat, going to sometimes three 12-step meetings a day because I did not know how to be comfortable in the world. I was not an alcoholic, or a drug addict. And, I was high on sugar, flour, and caffeine all the time. And later, I realized I was a food addict (30 pounds’ overweight, bulimic), and a sex addict (Prostitution, dysfunctional relationships).
What helped with food the most was Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous, FA, foodaddicts.org. I got free from food addiction and started addressing sex addiction, and sexual abuse (that took a minute), also relapse is a big part of my story.
What helped me the most to get out of prostitution was moving into SAFEHOUSE, sfsafehouse.org a nurturing and empowering community for homeless women escaping sexual exploitation, prostitution, and sex trafficking. Reverend Glenda Hope who ran Network Ministries out of the Tenderloin for thirty years, created SAFEHOUSE. Glenda was inspired to do this because one year eight street prostitutes were brutally murdered in the Tenderloin. I have never been in jail or done hard drugs, but everyone else in there was coming right from jail or the street. So, when they encouraged me to go back and take some college courses, a lot of my housemates were learning to read. I am a voice for the women who had it ten times tougher than me on the street addicted to heroin and crack. I speak for Giselle who had been raped dozens of times by the time she was twelve and walking the streets selling herself. I speak for Rosetta, her Grandma started selling her out of the house at age 15 for crack. I speak for myself. I was a scared, neglected, abused child who fell through the cracks.
SAFEHOUSE was my first parenting experience. I learned in SAFEHOUSE that I do matter! What I say and do matters! Nobody is disposable! I turned 40 in there. Lonette celebrated her 60th. Lonette had been in and out of institutions her whole life. Later, after I had graduated from SAFEHOUSE, I ran into her on Market street. She was still out there selling herself. She asked me for $5.00. I gave it to her along with a big hug. I felt so sad. Please don’t solicit prostitutes anymore. You don’t know the pain that it takes (as a prerequisite) to prostitute yourself, to be pimped, or trafficked.
While I was living at SAFEHOUSE, they asked me to start attending 12-step meetings to get help for my issues. I was the only one living there at the time that had not done hard drugs, heroin or crack. I wanted to go back to my food program, but they encouraged me to look for something that would help figure out why, and process why I had been prostituting myself for twelve years. I Googled incest survivors, and five groups popped up. I started attending Adult Survivors of Childhood Abuse, ASCA, ascasupport.org. From their website:”Adult Survivors of Child Abuse is an international self-help support group program designed specifically for adult survivors of neglect, physical, sexual, and/or emotional abuse. The ASCA program offers:
• Community based self help support groups
• Provider self help support groups
• Web-based self help support groups
• Survivor to Thriver workbooks
I will never forget my first meeting there. It was so powerful. I came back to SAFEHOUSE and cried like a baby for an hour. Sharon (SAFEHOUSE staff) listened to every whimper. She held my hand and gave me a big hug. Thank you, woman, of SAFEHOUSE. Thank you, Reverend Glenda Hope.
I also attended SAGE during the day. Standing Against Global Exploitation, SAGE, (Norma Hotelling created SAGE, a day program for women leaving prostitution). Another really great support for me was going to Sex and Love Addicts in Recovery, SLAA, slaa-sfeb.org, I have made lifelong friends in this program. There is also Sex addicts Anonymous, bayareasaa.org for sex addiction issues. Reverend Glenda Hope really emphasized being accountable for your finances. I really recommend debotorsanonymous.org to get a handle on your finances. I am so grateful for the 12-step recovery programs. They saved me from destroying myself.
So, in the last thirteen years I have been a public speaker for the City of San Francisco that started the First Offender Prostitution Project (FOPP). I help educate men that have been arrested for soliciting prostitutes. MSNBC did a show on FOPP, it was part of a three-part series, “Sex Slaves in America”. I was so proud to participate in that show. When I speak at FOPP, I educate in a non-shaming way why I think prostitution is not the best way to get your needs met, and why “Criminalizing Demand” is the way to go in ridding the world of prostitution.
What is criminalizing demand? That means to really come down hard on the people buying the prostitutes with bigger fines and jail time, advertising their arrests for everyone to see, and not arresting the prostitutes. Sweden is the only country to put this in effect, and as a result, they have the lowest rates of prostitution in the world.
Do you have any questions about anything we’ve been discussing? Any comments?
In closing, remember we all have choices to make. I hope the above will inform your future choices.
If you suspect anyone is being trafficked or trafficking please call:
1 (888) 373-7888
National Human Trafficking Hotline
SMS: 233733 (Text "HELP" or "INFO")
Hours: 24 hours, 7 days a week
Languages: English, Spanish, and 200 more languages
Website: humantraffickinghotline.org
A list of twelve-step recovery groups:
Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA)
Al-Anon/Alateen (for friends and families of alcoholics)
Cocaine Anonymous (CA)
Clutterers Anonymous (CLA)
Crystal Meth Anonymous (CMA)
Co-Anon (for friends and family of addicts)
CoDA –Co-Dependents Anonymous (CoDA) – for people working to end patterns of dysfunctional relationships and develop functional and healthy relationships
COSA (an auxiliary group of Sex Addicts Anonymous)
COSLAA –CoSex and Love Addicts Anonymous
DA –Debtors Anonymous (DA)
EA –Emotions Anonymous (EA) for recovery from mental and emotional illness
Families Anonymous (for relatives and friends of addicts)
Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous
Food Addicts Anonymous (FAA)
Gamblers Anonymous (GA)
Gam-Anon/Gam-A-Teen (for friends and family members of problem gamblers)
Heroin Anonymous (HA)
Marijuana Anonymous
Narcotics Anonymous (NA)
Nar-Anon (for friends and family members of addicts)
Nicotine Anonymous (NicA)
Overeaters Anonymous (OA)
Online Gamers Anonymous (OLGA)
Pills Anonymous (for recovery from prescription pill addiction)
Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)
Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA)
Sexual Compulsives Anonymous (SCA)
Survivors of Incest Anonymous (SIA)
Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA)
Sexual Recovery Anonymous
Underearners Anonymous
Workaholics Anonymous